Here’s a sad fact: More than half of American women are unhappy with their bodies, according to one survey, with the most bothersome body parts being waists, hips, and thighs. But being thin doesn’t guarantee satisfaction. What’s often crucial, researchers have discovered, is how much your family and friends focused on your appearance when you were growing up, and whether you received compliments or criticism.
You can’t change the past, but you can change how you feel now—and in just a matter of weeks. Here’s how:
1) Expand your notion of beauty.
Many characteristics make people appealing—and most of them have nothing to do with fitting into a size 4. Societal definitions of beauty have been quite fluid through the ages. To illustrate, just sift through various images of beauty as portrayed by different artists through the centuries. And even within the last 100 years, how fashions have changed, and body image along with it. I, for one, can relate to the image of goddesses, who have historically had strong, voluptuous figures. Find your own brand of beauty and go with it, enjoy it, relish it… Which brings me to my next point.
2) Focus less on winning the approval of others.
Remind yourself that you don’t have to do (or have) what everyone else does. And you don’t have to get permission to live your life differently either. Your time is precious, so don’t waste it searching for endless ways to fit in. As the saying goes, “What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” Don’t wait around for someone else to give you permission to live. We have to learn to be our own best friends, because when we look to others for our identity, we will fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. When we are focused too much on loving the idea of others loving us, we are sure to forget to love ourselves.
Over time, you will discover that loving yourself improves everything in your life — your self-esteem, your relationships, your health and well-being, and even your ability drum-up then manifest your dreams. Loving and accepting yourself is the key to being able to love and connect with others and create loving relationships.
Need a little more help seeing you through these eyes? Let me know how I can help!